Harps and choirs.
There was a full blown choir belting out Christmas tunes in the lobby when I went to get my lunch today. They were blocking one of the entrances. It was the entrance I wanted to use. Maybe I'm just a grumpy asshole but I wasn't heartwarmed or touched. I just wanted to get my sandwich and there was a choir in the way.
Yesterday there was a harp player down there, which was nice. She was plucking away and providing some pleasant background music and not blocking any entrances. I really don't have the capacity to enjoy someone playing a harp, though, because I am always preoccupied with the fact that someone chose to play the harp. First of all, you need a truck to move the damn thing, and a halfway decent harp is going to set you back many thousands.
It was butt-cold outside yesterday and I'm standing there thinking: "How the hell did you get that thing here in the freezing col, how much did you pay for it, and where were all your friends to discourage you when you decided to start playing the harp?"
Also, who the hell at Hyperglobalmegacorp is approving these harps and choirs? They cut out Christmas parties, but we get harps and choirs in the lobby?
When I first started here we got a department Christmas party with awesome free liquor and a company Christmas party with awesome free liquor. Now...not. Two years ago we got:
A. Company Christmas party with me getting drunk.
B. Department Christmas party with me getting buzzed.
C. Free lunch provided by building management.
Last year we got:
A. Free lunch provided by building management that Hyperglobalmegacorp passed off as the company party.
This year we get:
A. Choirs and harps in the lobby.
I'm in the old building now, though, so maybe the people in the new building still get their free crappy Christmas lunch. Mrs. Brick is in the new building and has told me she has heard nothing any potential Christmas parties. I will check back with her later regarding the presence of choirs and harps in the lobby.
Also, I remember when I first started here everyone had their own printer. Now there are about four printers on every floor and I have to walk 50 feet to it and since the printer is so far away everyone just leaves their shit on it (or takes my shit when they grab their shit) so I have to dig my stuff out from a big pile of shit.
It now takes 5 minutes to print something when before it would take 0 minutes because after clicking "Print" I could keep working and just reach over to the printer when it was done.
But I guess it's worth it, seeing as Hyperglobalmegacorp is saving a few dimes on ink, printer maintenance, and boosting employee morale around the holidays.
At this point it should be obvious to everyone that I hate writing trip reports and the idea that I am obligated to write about a certain event is keeping me from writing. All last week I was thinking "gotta write about Thanksgiving, gotta write about Thanksgiving" and I put it off and didn't write about it. I also didn't write about anything else because I felt I had to write about Thanksgiving first so I ended up not writing about anything.
This week I decided I was past the point of writing about Thanksgiving but that I had to write about how I worked over Baldo and Scott and with my mad basketball skillz on Saturday, followed by a poker game later on Saturday where I won $4, Scott lost $60, Baldo lost $20, Mrs. Brick lost $20 and Alex won about $75.
Today I decided: "Fuck it. Harps and choirs."
That said, we have a Vegas trip coming up in ten days that I probably won't write about and another Vegas trip in March that I probably won't write about.
That's right, honey. Your husband is already planning another Vegas trip.
Yesterday there was a harp player down there, which was nice. She was plucking away and providing some pleasant background music and not blocking any entrances. I really don't have the capacity to enjoy someone playing a harp, though, because I am always preoccupied with the fact that someone chose to play the harp. First of all, you need a truck to move the damn thing, and a halfway decent harp is going to set you back many thousands.
It was butt-cold outside yesterday and I'm standing there thinking: "How the hell did you get that thing here in the freezing col, how much did you pay for it, and where were all your friends to discourage you when you decided to start playing the harp?"
Also, who the hell at Hyperglobalmegacorp is approving these harps and choirs? They cut out Christmas parties, but we get harps and choirs in the lobby?
When I first started here we got a department Christmas party with awesome free liquor and a company Christmas party with awesome free liquor. Now...not. Two years ago we got:
A. Company Christmas party with me getting drunk.
B. Department Christmas party with me getting buzzed.
C. Free lunch provided by building management.
Last year we got:
A. Free lunch provided by building management that Hyperglobalmegacorp passed off as the company party.
This year we get:
A. Choirs and harps in the lobby.
I'm in the old building now, though, so maybe the people in the new building still get their free crappy Christmas lunch. Mrs. Brick is in the new building and has told me she has heard nothing any potential Christmas parties. I will check back with her later regarding the presence of choirs and harps in the lobby.
Also, I remember when I first started here everyone had their own printer. Now there are about four printers on every floor and I have to walk 50 feet to it and since the printer is so far away everyone just leaves their shit on it (or takes my shit when they grab their shit) so I have to dig my stuff out from a big pile of shit.
It now takes 5 minutes to print something when before it would take 0 minutes because after clicking "Print" I could keep working and just reach over to the printer when it was done.
But I guess it's worth it, seeing as Hyperglobalmegacorp is saving a few dimes on ink, printer maintenance, and boosting employee morale around the holidays.
At this point it should be obvious to everyone that I hate writing trip reports and the idea that I am obligated to write about a certain event is keeping me from writing. All last week I was thinking "gotta write about Thanksgiving, gotta write about Thanksgiving" and I put it off and didn't write about it. I also didn't write about anything else because I felt I had to write about Thanksgiving first so I ended up not writing about anything.
This week I decided I was past the point of writing about Thanksgiving but that I had to write about how I worked over Baldo and Scott and with my mad basketball skillz on Saturday, followed by a poker game later on Saturday where I won $4, Scott lost $60, Baldo lost $20, Mrs. Brick lost $20 and Alex won about $75.
Today I decided: "Fuck it. Harps and choirs."
That said, we have a Vegas trip coming up in ten days that I probably won't write about and another Vegas trip in March that I probably won't write about.
That's right, honey. Your husband is already planning another Vegas trip.
posted by Brick at 12:42 PM
2 Comments:
I recently had been thinking about harps; it is harp season. Malls, department stores, churches... If harps were a crop, this would be harp season.
What I had been thinking about is the verb harp. Like "to harp" on something... to repeatedly bring up... to persistently and annoying talk about something...
I wondering if the verb "to harp" comes from a reference to the musical instrument harp?
Like, was somebody soooo annoyed by all those repetitive strings playing over and over again that there wasn't a word describe that emotion... So he or she created one?
If I were creating the verb "to harp," it wouldn't mean to "repeatedly annoy;" it would mean "to tickle someone's belly with a two-handed harp-like playing motion."
Latest Vegas Trip Report:
The Bricks and the Wins went to Las Vegas for 2 days. They stayed at The Leaves.
Poker highlights:
-At Genie's, Scotty Win hitting a straight flush at 3-6 for a $390 jackpot
-At Pyramid, Brick playing better 2-4 than Scotty had ever witnessed
Non-poker highlights:
-Scotty achieving priority guestlist status for the group at Spookbar faster than a much-hyped "hook-up" who knew the owners was able to do
-the whole group sharing 2 awesome steaks, 2 salads, 2 sides, and a bottle of wine at EI8HT for the low cost of $250 with minimal complaints
-an incredible Mysteri circus show at Treasure Cove that left Scotty questioning his heterosexuality
-many discounts provided by Brick and his coupon book, such as $50 off for a $104 Mexican dinner at Darguno's that should've been $60 in the first place
-Mrs. Win & Mrs. Brick finding their way into Hugh Hefner's bed at the wax museum
-an Out-n-In Burger lunch paid for by The Leaves $10 free match-play coupon that Scotty & Brick expertly turned into $20 at the blackjack table
-Scotty winning his & Brick's fantasy football match by 7, after Meyton Panning scored 60 points Monday night
-Mrs. Win playing her first game of blackjack and only losing $5 after 30 minutes of play
-Mrs. Win & Mrs. Brick letting their partners play a sufficient amount of poker
-Scotty asking Mrs. Win to walk 30 minutes along the strip when she had sore feet and only a spring jacket on a 30 degree night (Fahrenheit)
-Brick & Mrs. Brick going to "Jamboree!", a show featuring small-boobed topless dancers
-Brick & Mrs. Brick not getting into a fight until the car ride home Tuesday night
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