Baldo and Borat.
Mrs. Brick found the blog.
Her: "You're mean. You make me sound like a total bitch."
Me: "Yeah."
Maybe I should write an incredibly biased report about the last time we went shopping for pants and I ended up walking out saying: "If you want a ride home I suggest you follow me." That was a fun day. No pants were purchased. I think its going to be a long time before I get new pants because I'm not allowed to shop for pants by myself anymore and trying to find pants with the wife ends up in a brawl. I hope for a day when we can shop for pants and actually buy pants.
Moving on...
Friday Scotty Win and I drove to Stoneville to see "Borat: Cultural Learnings of Make Kazakhstan Good" with Baldo. I asked Mrs. Brick if she wanted to go:
Her: "You're going to drive two hours each way to see a movie? No thanks."
Me: "We aren't driving two hours each way to see a movie. We are driving two hours each way to see a movie with Baldo. There's a big difference. Haven't you ever seen a movie with him?"
Her: "Ummm, oh yeah, we saw 'Catch Me If You Can' with him and I guess he was kind of freaking out."
Me: "Okay, he freaks during 'Catch Me If You Can.' Multiply that by infinity. That's why we're going."
Her: "Have fun."
Scott had actually seen it already. He calls me after and says: "We have to see this with Baldo."
And so we went. It was raining. Scott's stomach was ready to implode so we stopped at a rest stop Subway. He got the Cajun chicken. I got the regular chicken.
We went straight to the theatre. Baldo ditched his wife and kid and met us there. His response to the movie was somewhat disappointing. Or maybe I was reacting in a similar manner and didn't notice him. I turned around and buried my face in the back of my seat at one point. That was the first (and only, I imagine) time I have done that in a movie.
The movie was completely offensive and completely awesome.
Afterwards we went to Baldo's local watering hole where they have Woodchuck on tap. We ordered a round and also ordered some pepperoni rolls and buffalo wings. The pepperoni rolls were very disappointing. The menu presented them in such a fashion as to cause Scott and I to simulaneouly exclaim:
"We HAVE to get pepperoni rolls!"
They were just rolls of bread with mozzarella cheese and a non-zero amount of pepperoni inside. They could have at least put more pepperoni in them so as not to be misleading by calling them "pepperoni rolls" and maybe spiced them up a bit or provided some ranch dipping sauce. They were just bland bread and cheese blobs. That didn't stop me from eating them, though.
A short while later the waiter came by and said:
"You guys need some more beers?"
Scott made a fatal mistake by saying: "Yes."
Apparently you have to lead straight off with a drink order instead of saying "yes" because in Stoneville "yes" apparently means: "We would like three more beers exactly like the ones we just finished and you should walk away right now before I have the chance to order something different."
We didn't quite get why he walked away without taking our order until he came back with three more Woodchucks. Thanks, jackass. First of all, Scott was the only one who confirmed his desire for another drink, and at no point did he say he wanted another Woodchuck. I would have liked a Diet Coke, but I guess you overruled my decision. Thanks again.
Scott and I drove home without seeing Baldo's wife or kid. Scott drove. I slept. Thanks, Scott.
He dropped me off at 2:30AM and Mrs. Brick was still sitting on the couch where I left her.
The next day we woke up and followed our usual routine of sitting around and watching TV. "Freaky Friday" from 2003 starring Lindsay Lohan is an awesome movie.
Her: "You're mean. You make me sound like a total bitch."
Me: "Yeah."
Maybe I should write an incredibly biased report about the last time we went shopping for pants and I ended up walking out saying: "If you want a ride home I suggest you follow me." That was a fun day. No pants were purchased. I think its going to be a long time before I get new pants because I'm not allowed to shop for pants by myself anymore and trying to find pants with the wife ends up in a brawl. I hope for a day when we can shop for pants and actually buy pants.
Moving on...
Friday Scotty Win and I drove to Stoneville to see "Borat: Cultural Learnings of Make Kazakhstan Good" with Baldo. I asked Mrs. Brick if she wanted to go:
Her: "You're going to drive two hours each way to see a movie? No thanks."
Me: "We aren't driving two hours each way to see a movie. We are driving two hours each way to see a movie with Baldo. There's a big difference. Haven't you ever seen a movie with him?"
Her: "Ummm, oh yeah, we saw 'Catch Me If You Can' with him and I guess he was kind of freaking out."
Me: "Okay, he freaks during 'Catch Me If You Can.' Multiply that by infinity. That's why we're going."
Her: "Have fun."
Scott had actually seen it already. He calls me after and says: "We have to see this with Baldo."
And so we went. It was raining. Scott's stomach was ready to implode so we stopped at a rest stop Subway. He got the Cajun chicken. I got the regular chicken.
We went straight to the theatre. Baldo ditched his wife and kid and met us there. His response to the movie was somewhat disappointing. Or maybe I was reacting in a similar manner and didn't notice him. I turned around and buried my face in the back of my seat at one point. That was the first (and only, I imagine) time I have done that in a movie.
The movie was completely offensive and completely awesome.
Afterwards we went to Baldo's local watering hole where they have Woodchuck on tap. We ordered a round and also ordered some pepperoni rolls and buffalo wings. The pepperoni rolls were very disappointing. The menu presented them in such a fashion as to cause Scott and I to simulaneouly exclaim:
"We HAVE to get pepperoni rolls!"
They were just rolls of bread with mozzarella cheese and a non-zero amount of pepperoni inside. They could have at least put more pepperoni in them so as not to be misleading by calling them "pepperoni rolls" and maybe spiced them up a bit or provided some ranch dipping sauce. They were just bland bread and cheese blobs. That didn't stop me from eating them, though.
A short while later the waiter came by and said:
"You guys need some more beers?"
Scott made a fatal mistake by saying: "Yes."
Apparently you have to lead straight off with a drink order instead of saying "yes" because in Stoneville "yes" apparently means: "We would like three more beers exactly like the ones we just finished and you should walk away right now before I have the chance to order something different."
We didn't quite get why he walked away without taking our order until he came back with three more Woodchucks. Thanks, jackass. First of all, Scott was the only one who confirmed his desire for another drink, and at no point did he say he wanted another Woodchuck. I would have liked a Diet Coke, but I guess you overruled my decision. Thanks again.
Scott and I drove home without seeing Baldo's wife or kid. Scott drove. I slept. Thanks, Scott.
He dropped me off at 2:30AM and Mrs. Brick was still sitting on the couch where I left her.
The next day we woke up and followed our usual routine of sitting around and watching TV. "Freaky Friday" from 2003 starring Lindsay Lohan is an awesome movie.
posted by Brick at 2:09 PM
2 Comments:
Which part did you bury your head for? The hotel?
No. It was the shit bag. I turned around and put my face in the seat for about a second.
For those that haven't seen the film: Yes, there is a part involving a bag of shit.
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