Portuguese brouhaha.
The in-laws arrived approximately one week pre-wedding. This group consisted of Mrs. Brick's mom, her sister, and her sister's husband and two kids, aged 2 and 4. I had a few apprehensions about having seven people in our charming 2BED/1BA, GREAT LOCATION, CLOSE TO RESTAURANTS & TRAINS.
First of all, our humble shelter is used to only having two people in it, and only one Portuguese person. The Portuguese population in our house just tripled. Everything seemed like a fight, although it was all in Portuguese so I didn't understand. They might have been pleasantly reminiscing about days of yore, but it sounded like fighting. It is not uncommon for Mrs. Brick to get off the phone with her Mom or sister:
Me: "What were you guys fighting about?"
Her: "What are you talking about?"
Me: "What were you and your mom arguing about?"
Her: "We weren't fighting. We were just talking about pickles."
So that was fun. Also, I have a fear of other humans and social interaction so having a Portuguese mother-in-law that refuses to speak English is cool. I say refuses because I'm pretty sure she understands a lot of English but never speaks it. I should probably mention that Mrs. Brick's mom still lives in Portugal. That is cool, too. But I digress.
From being with my lovely wife for several years I have long since accepted that she is very opinionated and stubborn. If she wants something done a certain way, doing it a different way will be painful. For me. All of a sudden I had three of that in my house.
We had thought about having the wedding in Portugal because it would have been a lot cheaper because only our immediate families would have gone. Plus we could have incorporated the honeymoon into this trip and I could have fulfilled my "visit Portugual" requirement. That's like, three birds with one stone. However, Mrs. Brick put the smack down on that idea pretty quickly after talking to her mom:
Mrs. Brick: "Oh my god, my mom is crazy."
Me: "Okay."
Mrs. Brick: "She wants to do all this shit that I don't want. She wants to like, personally cook a feast for the entire town and I'm like 'Mom! I don't want that I want it to be small!' and my mom is like 'Oh no, we have to invite the entire town. I'll make pot roast.' So now she's cooking for the whole damn town? And I don't want fucking pot roast."
Me: "So she's exactly like you?"
Her: "We're not having the wedding in Portugal."
Watching the three of them make tablecloths for the wedding was...interesting. Luckily I was out of the house for most of it.
Brick's Wedding Tip #1: Do not make your own tablecloths for the wedding. You don't need gold tablecloths. It will take way longer than you think and you will fight a lot with your family. The white ones the restaurant has are just fine.
With the large family infusion I was also nervous about having the nonstop responsibility of babysitter being placed upon me. From my previous visits with this sister I am used to this. I was pleasantly surprised. The sister's husband pretty much took care of them. He took them to the park and museums and stuff. I like hanging out with them, but not hanging out with them is pretty cool, too.
Mrs. Brick's other sister (and her husband and 3-year-old) arrived two days before the wedding, as well as Mrs. Brick's dad, as well as my parents. Luckily the whole group was now staying at a hotel a block away, with the exception of her parents. Although that didn't change much because they were all at the house 24-7.
Let's review: Mrs. Brick's whole family is now here: mom, dad, two sisters (plus husbands and children), and my parents are now here. Did I mention our house is a 2BED/1BA? I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I love all of them, but I would prefer it if the whole group was not concentrated in my house at one time.
The brouhaha escalated when the flowers didn't arrive the day before the wedding like they were supposed to. Mrs. Brick ordered the flowers and the plan was for the sisters to make the arrangements. However, the flowers were hung up in customs. I guess the company Mrs. Brick ordered the flowers from gets them from Colombia. I didn't know flowers were a chief export of Colombia, but I don't think it's that surprising that a shipment from Colombia was held up in customs. So we didn't have flowers.
The sisters yelled at each other for a while and Mrs. Brick cried:
"Nothing is going right I planned this wedding for six months and now it's ruined. Boohoo."
All the men knew to get the hell out of the house. I took this as an opportunity to deliver the alcohol to the rehearsal dinner venue.
Mrs. Brick stopped crying and the females regrouped and made a flower run. They raided Sam's Club as well as three other flower shops. It set them back about three hours, but they got flowers and made the arrangements.
Did I mention during this period I actually started doing stuff for the wedding?
Next post.
I guess it wasn't as big of a brouhaha as I remember.
First of all, our humble shelter is used to only having two people in it, and only one Portuguese person. The Portuguese population in our house just tripled. Everything seemed like a fight, although it was all in Portuguese so I didn't understand. They might have been pleasantly reminiscing about days of yore, but it sounded like fighting. It is not uncommon for Mrs. Brick to get off the phone with her Mom or sister:
Me: "What were you guys fighting about?"
Her: "What are you talking about?"
Me: "What were you and your mom arguing about?"
Her: "We weren't fighting. We were just talking about pickles."
So that was fun. Also, I have a fear of other humans and social interaction so having a Portuguese mother-in-law that refuses to speak English is cool. I say refuses because I'm pretty sure she understands a lot of English but never speaks it. I should probably mention that Mrs. Brick's mom still lives in Portugal. That is cool, too. But I digress.
From being with my lovely wife for several years I have long since accepted that she is very opinionated and stubborn. If she wants something done a certain way, doing it a different way will be painful. For me. All of a sudden I had three of that in my house.
We had thought about having the wedding in Portugal because it would have been a lot cheaper because only our immediate families would have gone. Plus we could have incorporated the honeymoon into this trip and I could have fulfilled my "visit Portugual" requirement. That's like, three birds with one stone. However, Mrs. Brick put the smack down on that idea pretty quickly after talking to her mom:
Mrs. Brick: "Oh my god, my mom is crazy."
Me: "Okay."
Mrs. Brick: "She wants to do all this shit that I don't want. She wants to like, personally cook a feast for the entire town and I'm like 'Mom! I don't want that I want it to be small!' and my mom is like 'Oh no, we have to invite the entire town. I'll make pot roast.' So now she's cooking for the whole damn town? And I don't want fucking pot roast."
Me: "So she's exactly like you?"
Her: "We're not having the wedding in Portugal."
Watching the three of them make tablecloths for the wedding was...interesting. Luckily I was out of the house for most of it.
Brick's Wedding Tip #1: Do not make your own tablecloths for the wedding. You don't need gold tablecloths. It will take way longer than you think and you will fight a lot with your family. The white ones the restaurant has are just fine.
With the large family infusion I was also nervous about having the nonstop responsibility of babysitter being placed upon me. From my previous visits with this sister I am used to this. I was pleasantly surprised. The sister's husband pretty much took care of them. He took them to the park and museums and stuff. I like hanging out with them, but not hanging out with them is pretty cool, too.
Mrs. Brick's other sister (and her husband and 3-year-old) arrived two days before the wedding, as well as Mrs. Brick's dad, as well as my parents. Luckily the whole group was now staying at a hotel a block away, with the exception of her parents. Although that didn't change much because they were all at the house 24-7.
Let's review: Mrs. Brick's whole family is now here: mom, dad, two sisters (plus husbands and children), and my parents are now here. Did I mention our house is a 2BED/1BA? I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I love all of them, but I would prefer it if the whole group was not concentrated in my house at one time.
The brouhaha escalated when the flowers didn't arrive the day before the wedding like they were supposed to. Mrs. Brick ordered the flowers and the plan was for the sisters to make the arrangements. However, the flowers were hung up in customs. I guess the company Mrs. Brick ordered the flowers from gets them from Colombia. I didn't know flowers were a chief export of Colombia, but I don't think it's that surprising that a shipment from Colombia was held up in customs. So we didn't have flowers.
The sisters yelled at each other for a while and Mrs. Brick cried:
"Nothing is going right I planned this wedding for six months and now it's ruined. Boohoo."
All the men knew to get the hell out of the house. I took this as an opportunity to deliver the alcohol to the rehearsal dinner venue.
Mrs. Brick stopped crying and the females regrouped and made a flower run. They raided Sam's Club as well as three other flower shops. It set them back about three hours, but they got flowers and made the arrangements.
Did I mention during this period I actually started doing stuff for the wedding?
Next post.
I guess it wasn't as big of a brouhaha as I remember.
posted by Brick at 3:28 PM
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