Thursday, November 09, 2006

"You don't wanna know..."

...how much my sunglasses cost."

The douchebag (the one that bet thousands on the election) that sits in the cube next to me has issues. I have issues, too, lots of significant issues, but right now I'm talking about this guy's issues because I enjoy pointing out the faults of others in a feeble attempt to mask my own insecurities.

We just had a discussion about televisions with a coworker. At least it started out that way. They were talking about HDTV options. Apparently this guy has a 61" Samsung DLP HDTV. Whatever that means. I chimed in with my opinion on the subject, seeing as I have been researching upgrading but have not found a reason to do so. My main points were:

-It's too complicated; I don't get what the different formats are and stuff.
-Standard TV looks like crap on HDTV due to resolution and aspect ratio issues, and most channels are standard.
-The TV I have works just fine, and the cost to upgrade would not provide a significant enough improvement to justify the cost.

His counter-arguments included the following:

-It's not that complicated.
-I only watch HDTV channels.
-My TV cost $3,000.
-My speakers cost almost as much as my TV.
-My bedroom tv is a 32-inch HDTV.
-I'm thinking about replacing my 18-month old Mac Powerbook because it's too old.
-My sunglasses cost hundreds of dollars.

Instead of highlighting the benefits of HDTV and making a case as to why one should upgrade, he managed to shift the discussion to: "This is how much I spend on shit. I'm awesome." He closed with the exact quote that leads off today's post.

That's nice. I didn't know we were talking about how much sunglasses cost.

Maybe he was trying to start a dick measuring contest, and I chose not to participate. I just smiled and nodded.

Now, I don't have any problem with someone who spends "hundreds" on a pair of sunglasses. You can choose to spend your money how you want and it has no bearing on your worth as a human being*, but why are you telling me?

*To an extent; I mean, if you're spending the bulk of your disposable income on assault rifles and heroin and then giving these away to school children, I would say that severely reduces your worth as a human being. But then again, that has more to do with what one does with his purchases, and not so much how the money is spent. If the purchaser was throwing the assault rifles and heroin into a river of molten lava, then that would be a good thing. However, what if you're a heroin-addict assault rifle enthusiast and this guy was doing this just to taunt you? Then it would totally suck. It's all relative. Also, what the hell are you doing hanging out by a river of molten lava?

I don't know what motivated him to shift the discussion towards how much he spends on material goods. I also don't know what he thought the effect of this would be. If he wanted to make me think less of him than he succeeded. I always thought he was a douchebag but he just upgraded himself to "douchenozzle."

I should point out that I don't think less of him because of how much he spends. He is free to do what he wants with his money. I think less of him because he told us. It is no more annoying than if we were talking about HDTVs and he said: "Yeah, I don't own a TV or a car because I don't waste my money on worthless, life-numbing material goods. My sunglasses are made of hemp and only cost 73 cents. Also my stove is powered by the sun."

In conclusion, live your life and do what you want. Just don't rub my face in it.

Oh, by the way, my dick is huge. I wouldn't really know because I have no basis for comparison but the two women that have seen it have assured me it's gigantic.

Post-script

Interestingly enough (or not), 4.5 years ago I was discussing the merits of dating Mrs. Brick with Scotty Win. One of my arguments against her was: "She has Gucci sunglasses." I soon realized that was completely fucktarded and her choice of eyeball protection should have no influence on my opinion. The important thing was she never once made a point to tell me how awesome her sunglasses were or how much they cost. In fact, she never once brought up the subject of her sunglasses. She simply wore them when the sun was bothering her eyes. That's how it should be.

2 Comments:

Blogger Klopzi said...

My sunglasses cost $10 CDN.

I wear them when I'm driving unless I forget them at home.

I drop them at least two or three times a day when I have them on my person, the reason being that I put them in my breast pocket and they fall out whenever I bend down to pick up dropped money or food.

To date, I have bought and re-bought this same pair of sunglasses from Walmart a staggering 7 times. The only reason I ever buy a new pair of sunglasses is when I leave my old pair sitting on the driver's seat in the car and later sit on them as I climb back into the car.

Also, I do not own an HDTV set. However, you can tell the douchenozzle that a 61" DLP TV sucks: their comparitively cheap and a waste of money. If he'd had at least half a dick, he would have picked up the 72" plasma TV.

Ok, that's all I have to say...

9:41 AM  
Blogger Scotty Win said...

How come we've never heard of this douchebag/nozzle before this week? He seems to be good fodder for posts.

I do not remember this Gucci sunglasses conversation. I hope I was on the pro side of dating Mrs. Brick.

1:01 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home